The Pineapple Saga, Book 1
by Miss Basset
Summary: Shawn Spencer, an average teenager with an eidetic memory, never thought that moving in with his father would change his life that much. What could possibly go wrong in Sporfs, Washington? - Twilight rewritten with Psych characters, Shassie.
1. Prologue

**Title:** The Pineapple Saga - Book 1

**Author:** Basset

**Rating:** K+

**Pairings:** Shassie, Gules, basically all the pairings that should actually happen in the show

**Warnings:** Shassie; if you don't like it, don't read it

**Summary: **Shawn Spencer, an average teenager with an eidetic memory, never thought that moving in with his father would change his life that much. What could possibly go wrong in Sporfs, Washington? Well, he was wrong. - Twilight rewritten with Psych characters.

**Author's Note:** Um... not much of an author's not this time around. But I would like to say that these characters are going to be staying true to their Psych persona, but a little bit of Twilight might have to creep up in there... it is based on Twilight after all.  
Oh, and I forgot to say, I'll still be working on 'Losing Lassie', I just had to post this. Because I can't leave our favorite Head Detective with striking blue eyes in some small town in Idaho with no idea who he is.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Psych or any of it's characters. I also do not own Twilight or the idea of using characters from a TV show to substitute the actual Twilight characters. That is all due to the genius of **Glorious Plumage**. Go check out the awesome Twilight/Star Trek story that belongs to this awesome writer.

* * *

I had never thought much about the way I would die. Sure, with a father as a police officer I thought a lot about him kicking the bucket, but not me. But as I gazed into the black eyes of the hunter, I knew someone was going to die. Chances were, it was going to be me.

It wasn't a bad thing, dying for someone I loved. Of course I would never be able to kiss my boyfriend again, or try to make him smile, or even call him a nickname again, and that kinda sucked. But at least he would be safe. All of his family would be safe. All of my family would be safe.

As I thought about it, I realized something. I had been incredibly and totally stupid. Just a few hours ago I had been safe in the arms of someone I loved and knew loved me back. Why had I given that up all that and pineapple? I guess I just had to have been the hero, I just had to have all the attention. Maybe Henry was right, I was an attention-whore.

Sighing, I turned my gaze back to the hunter, my mind drifting from pineapples to what I had just given up.

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So, love it? Hate it? Want to read more? I need to know, reviews make me all happy inside.

Oh, and just so you know, a sporf is like a spork, but not really. It has a fork on one end, a spoon on the other end, and a knife attached to the fork prongs. Just so you know.


	2. Characters

**Author's Note**: So, here are the characters. I tried to match personalities up the best I good, but near the end I just randomly used minor Psych characters to play minor Twilight characters. I had spent 3 days on this list and just wanted it done.

**Disclamer**: I do not own the Psych characters or the Twilight characters or the Twilight plot or even the idea of using TV show characters to the plot of Twilight. **Glorious Plumage** came up with this fabulous idea, and gave me permission to use it.

* * *

The Stars

**Bella** **Swan **- Shawn Spencer  
**Edward** **Cullen** - Carlton 'Lassie' Lassiter

The Vampires

**Carlisle** **Cullen **- John Fenich (police chief) [The police chief before Karen Vick]  
**Esme** **Cullen **- Karen Vick (partnered with Henry)  
**Rosalie** **Cullen **- Linsay Leikin [The psychic in the episode "Psy vs. Psy" in season 2]  
**Emmett Cullen** - Lars Ewing [The special agent in the episode "Psy vs. Psy" in season 2]  
**Jasper** **Cullen **- Juliet 'Jules' O'Hara  
**Alice** **Cullen **- Burton 'Gus' Guster

The Werewolves (and father of a werewolf)

**Jacob Black** - Abagail Lytar  
**Billy** **Black **- 'Uncle' Jack Lytar [His last name is really Spencer, but he has to be Abagail's papa, so...]  
**Sam** **Uley **- Stewart Gimbly [The person who believes he is a werewolf in "Let's Get Hairy" in season 3]  
**Leah** **Clearwater** - Mindy Howland [Lassie's date in the episode "Murder?... Anyone?... Anyone?... Bueller?" in season 3]**  
Seth Clearwater **-Willow Gimbly [The sister of the person who believes he is a werewof in "Let's Get Hairy" in season 3]  
**Embry** **Call **- Bevin Rennie Llywellen [The dude who teamed up with Zapato to try to kill Nigel St. Nigel in "American Duos" in season 2]  
**Paul** - Paul Drimmer [The dirty cop who tried to frame Lassiter for murder in "Lassie Did a Bad Bad Thing" in season 3; I do not know his first name]  
**Quil Aterea **- April McCarther [The aquatic center worker in "Six Feet Under" in season 3]

The High Schoolers

**Jessica** **Stanely** - Jimmy Nickles [The boy who terrorized Shawn and Gus in their childhood, needed their help in "And Down the Stretch Came Murder" in season 2]  
**Mike** **Newton **- Sophie Newton [The museum curator in "Shawn and Gus of the Dead" in season 2]  
**Tyler** **Crowley **- Barbra Vick [Karen Vick's sister, first seen in "There Might be Blood" in season 3]  
**Eric** **Yorkie **- Emilina Saffron [The crazy drug addict judge in "American Duos" in season 2]  
**Angela** **Weber **- Buzz McNabb  
**Lauren** **Mallory **- Lucinda Barry [Lassiter's old partner in the Pilot episode]

The Parents

**Charlie** **Swan **- Henry Spencer (partnered with Karen)  
**Renee** **Dwyer **- Madeline Spencer

The Volturi

**Aro** - Nigel St. Nigel [The Simon Cowell type judge in "American Duos" in season 2]  
**Marcus** - Lester Beacon [The Ryan Seacrest-like announcer in "American Duos" in season 2]  
**Caius** - Zapato [The third Latino judge in "American Duos" in season 2, never got to say anything]

The Evil Gang

**James** - Mr. Yang [The serial killer who first appeared in "An Evening with Mr. Yang" in season 3]  
**Victoria** - Victoria [Lassiter's ex-wife]  
**Laurent** - Byrad Tatums [A bounty hunter from the episode "Bounty Hunters" in season 2]


	3. First Sight, Part 1

**Disclamer**: I do not own Psych or Twilight. Oh, and **Glorious Plumage** is awesome. Enough said.

**Author's Note:** Sorry it took so long for the chapter. School is horrible and mean and cruel, and getting a cold isn't that great either. But I did get to watch a bunch of Psych and Colbert Report and The Daily Show with Jon Steward and Robin Hood BBC, so it's all good.

* * *

I knew for a fact that I was going to miss Santa Barbra and it's 75 degree weather. And it didn't help any that my mom, who was currently driving me to the airport, kept going on and on about the different, warm, places she was going to go to. Perhaps the only good thing about being a traveling police psychologist was the traveling part.

Smiling, I turned to my mom, trying to soak her all in. I wasn't going to be able to see her for a long time, so I wanted to remember everything about her. And with my photographic memory I would, but I still wanted to remember exactly how she moved her hands while talking, even while driving.

"Shawn, are you even listening to a word I'm saying? You don't have to go live with Henry, you could stay with me and go to an online school." My mom said, pulling me out of my thoughts. It was nice, seeing my mom get worried about me. But it who wouldn't be worried about her son moving in with his police dad in Sporfs, Washington?

Sporfs, Washington was a very small town. Sporfs High School, the school I would be forced to attend, had a population of 315 students. There had been more than 900 students just in my junior class back home. And to top it all off, it was always raining. So the town had a rather gloomy feeling about it, a very big difference from sunny Santa Barbara, California.

I still wasn't sure why I had decided to go live there. After my mother had escaped with me when I was at the young age of 3 months, I had never thought I would have to go back, not including the month I had been forced to live with Henry every summer until I was 11. I hadn't seen my dad in 6 years, since on my 11th birthday I had decided I would have nothing more to do with him. And now I was going to live with him on a permanent basis?

"Mom, I already made up my mind. I'm going to live with Henry and attend Sporfs High School. Even if it is cold and wet and gloomy and I don't know anyone there." I replied in a monotone, leaning back in my seat and yawning.

"Speaking of cold and wet, are you sure that's going to be warm enough for you, Goose?" My mom asked, referring to the black basketball shorts, thin white 'Duran Duran' t-shirt and sneakers that I was wearing.

"I've already told you, I brought my coat." I pointed to the backseat where my overly-bulky winter coat had decided it would stay. And I wasn't going to argue with it, I wanted to stay as far away from that thing as possible for as long as I could.

The rest of the ride to the airport was silent, neither of us having much to talk about. We had already exhausted all normal conversation 4 days before my departure date. When we finally arrived at the airport and found my terminal my mom pulled me into a tight hug.

"Be careful Shawn... I'm going to miss you so much. Make sure to check your email everyday. I want to know everything that you do." My mother finally released me, tears sparkling in her eyes.

I smiled and hugged her back before grabbing my coat and heaved the duffel bag that served as my suitcase over my shoulder. After taking a few steps toward the door I stopped and turned back around, a teasing smile on my lips. "Mom, I'm going to be fine. It's not like I'm going to get the life sucked out of me or anything."

It was a 3 hour flight from Santa Barbara to Seattle and another hour to Port Angeles' small airport. And then after that I would have to endure another hour in the car with Henry. I could handle the flying part, I could catch up on some sleep or flirt with the closest hot girl. But the car ride with my father would not be easy.

Actually, Henry had been pretty good about me deciding to crash at his place. He had already enrolled me in high school and was going to look around for some car I could use since he had forbid me from bringing my motorcycle with me.

But it was going to be horrible living with the detective. Either he would try to teach me some stupid lessons on how to be a cop and yell at me for not listening or he would yell at me for not seeing him for 6 years. Either way my eardrums would get a workout. No wonder my mom had left him while she still could. Henry wasn't exactly lovable.

When I finally arrived in Port Angeles, it was raining. I tried to not let it bring my spirits down, but I couldn't help it. With all this rain it was bound to be hard to grow pineapples, making them harder to find and more expensive. But what did I know about pineapple husbandry?

Henry was waiting with his squad car. I had thought as much. It was almost as if the cop had married his car, they seemed to go everywhere together. He gave me a short, curt nod and grabbed my bags, stuffing them into the trunk without a word. Hopefully the whole ride would be like that.

We had been driving for about 5 minutes when Henry turned to me and sighed. "So, long time no see."

"Really dad?" It probably wouldn't be a good idea to call him Henry to his face. "We were having a nice silence going on there. Way to ruin it with small talk."

Rolling his eyes, Henry sighed again. "Oh, grow up Shawn. I haven't seen you for 6 years, I have a right to talk to my son." Well, he did have a point. But of course I would never admit that he did. I was Shawn Spencer after all.

"Whatever you say dad." I muttered, turning to stare out the window. This was going to be _so_ much fun.

A few more minutes of silence passed before Henry tried to start up a conversation again. "I found a car for you." he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Well, it's the least you could do, making me leave my motorcycle behind." I answered, my tone bitter.

"Aren't you even going to ask me about it Shawn?" he asked, starting to sound annoyed. Maybe I was pushing it, I really didn't want to be kicked out of the car in the middle of nowhere.

"Fine. What's the car like?" I asked, feigning interest. Hopefully it wouldn't be a total clunker, but knowing my dad there was always that possibility.

Henry smiled for the first time since seeing me. Even if I wasn't actually thrilled about the car I could tell he was excited about it. And when Henry got excited, things usually ended up badly for me. "Well, actually, it's a truck. A Chevy to exact. I know you hate trucks, but there aren't that many options in Sporfs. And it's not like I'm going to let you buy another death trap on 2 wheels. Jack Lytar offered to sell it to me real cheap. You remember Jack, right?"

My face fell slightly as my dad mentioned it was a truck. I had never exactly loved trucks, they were always to big and clunky and odd in my opinion. And of course I remembered 'Uncle' Jack Lytar. I'd spent most of my time in Sporfs with him and his daughter, since he and my dad had gone fishing so often. The curse (well, not really, it actually was pretty useful at times) of having a photographic memory. Jack wasn't really my uncle, but we got along well enough that he had told me to call him 'Uncle' Jack. And it would have been cool to have him as an uncle.

"Well, how cheap is cheap?" I wouldn't be able to weasel my way out of the price, I was horrible at buying cars or anything like that.

The smile slipped off of Henry's face the moment I asked him the price. "Well, I um..." A faint blush crept up his cheeks, a very un-Henry action. "I already bought it for you Shawn. As a coming home present. And Jack knocked a few hundred dollars off of it because I was getting it for you."

Out of all the things I had been expecting, that had not been it. I would have even expected Henry saying he had begun to date a man more than him buying me a car. "Wow dad. That's... very considerate. Thanks." I mumbled.

"Well, your welcome Shawn." Henry replied, still keeping his eyes on the road.

"Wait, what year is it? Because I really don't want to be driving around a car from 1801." I asked, trying (and failing) to raise an eyebrow like all those good cops could do in the old movies and TV shows.

Henry rolled his eyes and ran a hand over his very bald head. "Shawn, there were no cars back in 1801."

"I've heard it both ways. But you still haven't answered my question." I wasn't going to let this go, my dad needed to know I wouldn't take no for an answer. Or at least no answer for an answer.

"Um... I think Jack said it was from the early sixties or late fifties." he confessed, turning to look at me for a fraction of a second before returning his gaze to the road.

I sighed, slumping back in my seat. "Great. I won't be able to fix it or anything if it breaks. You know that, right?"

"Shawn, don't worry, the thing runs great." Henry replied, a small smile on his face before it vanished, replaced with his normal, stern expression.

The rest of the ride to Henry's house was passed in silence. I was to busy trying to think up nicknames for my new truck (the only two that weren't total crap were 'The Truckinator' and 'Truckenstein') to initiate a conversation, and Henry knew better than try to talk to me again.

Finally we arrived at Henry's, no, our house. It hadn't changed much in 6 years, still white, still strangely large for one man to have be living in alone. I half expected a step-mom and step-siblings to come running out, saying how much they had been looking forward to seeing me. But thankfully no one came out. That eliminated at least one awkward hug and conversation.

My new truck actually was pretty cool. It was one of those old cars that never seemed to end up smashed to pieces in a car accident. And it was red, which made it even more awesome. "Wow dad... I actually like it." I muttered, stepping out of the squad car and over to my new truck.

Henry just grunted as he grabbed my bags, walking quickly to my room. I followed after him, but only after running a hand over the truck. Maybe being here in Sporfs wasn't going to be so horrible.

Perhaps one of Henry's only redeeming qualities was that he never hovered. After depositing my things in my room he left to make dinner (and knowing Henry it was probably fish or steak), I wouldn't have to smile or feign happiness. But then again, I hadn't been doing that to begin with, so I guess that didn't really matter.

Glancing around the room, I sighed. It didn't seem to have changed much in 6 years. The only difference from when I was 11 was the new laptop sitting on my old desk. Somehow my mother had convinced Henry that I needed a laptop with good internet and he should buy it for me, but I had my suspicions that she had paid for more than half of it. The blue striped curtains were still the same, along with the smallish bed with it's green and blue striped comforter.

Turning around, I smiled a real smile for the first time since boarding the plane. Henry had kept my giant 'Star Trek: The Original Series' poster on the door for 6 years. If I thought about it, it was kinda creepy, Henry not packing things up and keeping them in a box. But then again, he was so busy being a police detective that there probably wasn't much time to go around and pack things up, except on sick days or vacation. And from what I knew, Henry didn't take many sick or vacation days.

I would be forced to share a bathroom with Henry, a fact I didn't mind to much. We were both dudes, and it didn't really take to long to get ready for school or work. Well, after the 45 minutes I would have to spend getting my hair right. But Henry would be able to wait for a bathroom that long, he'd been on stakeouts that had lasted longer than that before.

* * *

**Extended Author's Note:** So, I cut a bit of stuff out at the end because I really wanted to get this posted today and I'm getting tired. And there might be mistakes because I really don't feel like reading over it right now. So there won't be any of Shawn saying he has to pale skin and he doesn't fit in anywhere and just over all being a whiny bitch like Bella.

Please review... it makes the world spin 'round and updates come faster.


	4. First Sight, Part 2

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry it has taken so long to get this done, but I got sick again, and had a stupid English research assignment, and a ton of make up work. And I had meant to finish the first chapter with this update, but it was taking to long I decided just to post what I had done.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Meyer owns Twilight, Steve Franks, the lucky bastard, owns Psych, and **Glorious Plumage** came up with this idea, but with Star Trek instead of Psych.

* * *

I didn't sleep very well my first night back in my old room. I wasn't used to the sound of rain and wind, it was really unnerving. Around midnight I realized enough was enough and grabbed the pair of earmuffs I had brought in case we had a snowstorm. They didn't drown out all of the sound, but I was finally able to get some sleep.

In the morning a thick fog covered the entire ground and I could barely see three feet out of my window. I wasn't thrilled about trying to drive in this. For the first time I was a little thankful Henry had forced me to leave my motorcycle back home, it would have been horrible to try and ride it in this kind of weather.

My breakfast with Henry was rather quiet, we only said a few words to each other about the weather and he wished me a good day at school. It wasn't too long before he left and I was all alone in the house. Nothing had changed much in the past 6 years. Henry still displayed his fishing rod like it was something to be immensely proud of, along with a row of pictures on the mantel above the fireplace. Most of the pictures were of me or some large fish, but tucked back in the corner was his and my mom's wedding photo.

It wouldn't have taken a genius to figure out that Henry still loved my mom. It was rather awkward, since I knew for a fact that my mom had moved on and was seeing other people.

I didn't want to be too early to school, but I couldn't stay in the house much longer. I grabbed my leather jacket and my keys before stepping out into the fog. I had forgotten how cold the mornings got in Sporfs and that I should have probably grabbed more than a leather jacket. But I wasn't about to go back in and get my coat, I'd be okay with what I had. Hopefully Truckenstein had a heater.

Shivering as I ran to the door and pulled it open, I quickly jumped into the cab. Thankfully it wasn't raining, at least I had that much going for me. Turning the truck on, I was surprised at the amount of noise it made. Maybe I would have to bring my earmuffs when I was driving around. I cranked the heater up to its maximum and waited for a few minutes to warm up. How could anyone live here without freezing? Finally the heater started working and I pulled out of the driveway.

Sporfs High School wasn't hard to find, just like everything else in this town, it was right off the highway. I didn't think it looked anything like a high school with its scattered little white buildings and all the trees and shrubs, In my opinion, it looked more like a retirement community than anything else. The only thing that remotely hinted as to its true intentions was the large sign saying 'Sporfs High School; Home of the Beavers'.

I pulled into a parking space in front of the first building, unwilling to step out of the warm cab. There was no one else parked there, so I was sure it was off limits. But when had that stopped me? Finally, after 5 minutes of just sitting in the parking spot, I turned the car off and all but ran to the door. The leather jacket had definitely been a bad idea.

My teeth chattered as I entered the waiting room, taking in my surroundings. The walls were all white, but what the walls lacked in color was made up by all the potted plants. As if there wasn't enough greenery outside. My eyes traveled to the closest desk, which was probably reception. A largish woman was sitting behind the counter, a neonish orange shirt clashing horribly with her bright red hair. As I walked closer to the desk my acute senses picked up the bags under the woman's eyes and the large box of tissues close to her. I also noticed a tan line where a wedding ring should have been. This woman obviously was going through a really bad divorce. But how she got a tan line here in Washington, I didn't know.

The woman looked up and smiled, though I could tell it was fake. "Can I help you sweetie?"

She seemed like the overly motherly type who would randomly whip out a batch of cookies from who-knows-where at any sign of trouble. I decided that whoever was breaking up with her was a total douche. "Uh, ya. I'm Shawn Spencer, and I need a schedule." I flashed her a smile, deciding right then and there that she was in need of a pineapple upside down cake, and that I was going to make her one.

The woman smiled back and handed me a schedule, a slip of paper to be signed by all my teachers, and a map of the school. "Well, have a great day honey. I hope you like Sporfs."

I nodded and continued to smile as I turned around and ran to my truck. Students were now starting to arrive, so I pulled out of my space and followed the line of traffic. It turned out that my Truckinator wasn't the only old car, most of the students had clunkers too. The only nice car in the whole parking lot was a red Crown Vic, and it stood out. But maybe it was just the overly shiny color of the Vic.

After about 7 minutes I finally found a free space and quickly swooped in before anyone else could take it. Who would have thought parking would hard to get in a school this small? Turning the engine off I pulled the map and schedule out. After running my eyes over them for a second or two, I crumpled them up and tossed them on the floor. Taking a few deep breaths I pulled the door open and ran out again, my legs going as fast as they could. My only thought was getting back into the warmth. Seriously, how did people live here?

I ran into the first building I saw, and thankfully it was the right one. I breathed a sigh of relief as I followed a pair of students into room 301. After arriving in the classroom I opted to keep my jacket on instead of hanging it up like the other students. Someone must have been out of their mind if they thought I would give up my only source of warmth.

Walking up to the teacher I smiled and handed the slip of paper to him. His name was Mr. Mason, or at least that was what it said on his nameplate. He seemed about 40ish and happily married, since there was still a wedding ring on his finger, unlike the woman from the office. I could also tell he liked sweater vests, based on the hideous green one he was wearing. After Mr. Mason signed my paper, he pointed me to an empty seat in the back and handed me a list of all the materials we would be reading.

Keeping a large smile on my face, I walked to the back of the classroom and sat down, loving the feeling of everyone's eyes on me. I didn't bother to hide the fact that I loved being the center of attention, it always made me feel special. And who didn't love to feel special?

Glancing down at the list of the books we would be reading, I sighed. I had already read everything on the list.. Maybe I'd be able to get my mom to send me all of my old essays so I could reuse them for this class. She would probably refuse, but I would be able to remember what I had written. So maybe it would be better to just not ask her at all.

I zoned out as Mr. Mason droned on and on, wondering if my dad was arresting some punk for skipping school. Well, I wasn't sure if skipping school was illegal, so maybe he was arresting some punk for dealing drugs and skipping school.

I jumped as the bell rang, and quickly closed the notebook I had been doodling in. I had been working on a picture of an army of evil teddy bears attacking me, but a tall, handsome stranger in cop glasses had come to my rescue and shot the teddies with his black gun. Glancing up, I noticed a girl with long brown hair making her way towards me. I instantly felt a little repulsed by her, though I couldn't quite put my finger on what about her seemed off.

"You're Shawn Spencer, aren't you?" she asked, smiling and leaning up against my desk. I nodded, unable to say anything else. I was still trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Apart from her apparent disregard for shoes, nothing else seemed to be wrong.

"I'm Emelina Saffron. What's your next class?" she asked, still leaning against my desk. I noticed two red high-heels stuffed in her handbag, but decided not to comment on them.

"Well, Emelina Saffron, my next class is Government with Jefferson in building six." I replied, standing up and keeping a bit of distance between me and Emelina.

The girl beamed and grabbed my hand, dragging me toward the door. "Great. I'm heading towards building 4, that's on the way." I managed to wrench my grasp from Emelina and straightened up, tucking my books under my arm.

"Uh, okay. Thanks Emelina." I didn't bother to say that I could find Government on my own.

We stayed silent for a few minutes before Emelina turned to be, still smiling. "You know Shawn, not many guys would have the nerve to come to school in a purple shirt. That's really awesome."

I glanced down at my shirt, extremely puzzled. I thought I had put a blue and white checkered button down shirt, and with one look I confirmed that. Why had Emelina said I was wearing purple? Still looking puzzled, I returned my gaze to her brown eyes. "Um, thanks. I guess." I replied, unsure what to say.

"Anyway, how are you liking Sporfs?" she asked, seeming to forget what we had been talking about a few seconds before.

"I hate it," I replied, shifting my books to my other arm and putting even more space between me and Emelina. "There's too much rain here and not enough sun."

Emelina nodded, looking as if she was off in another world. She sure was odd, and I wasn't extremely sad to leave her when I made it to my class.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully, though I nearly tripped in Trigonometry on the way back to my seat after introducing myself in front of the class. I hadn't minded telling everyone about me, though most of the people knew everything about me already. I had to thank Henry about that.

After a few classes I started to recognize the same faces in a few of my classes. At least one person offered to show me around the school, and I decided against trying to tell them I could remember my schedule and the map of the school perfectly. Plus, it was nice having so many people be so friendly.

One boy, Jimmy Nickles, sat with me in both Trig and Spanish and had decided that I was going to sit with him and his group at lunch. Jimmy was a really short dude with brown hair, and I could tell in an instant that he got whatever he wanted. Even with his size, Jimmy sure could intimidate anyone, and I thought it would be best to just go along with the plan.

We sat down at an already half-filled table, and Jimmy began to introduce me to everyone around. Emelina waved at me from across the room and I halfheartedly waved back before somewhat returning back to the conversation with Jimmy.

It was in the lunchroom, vaguely listening to the names of everyone around around me, that I first saw them. Or rather, him.

They were sitting all together in their own table, far away from all the other students. At first I didn't think that was to odd, they were probably part of some clique or something like that. There were five of them, 3 boys and 2 girls. It bothered me a bit that none of them seemed even remotely interested in me, because I was Shawn Spencer after all. I was the talk of the town, everyone knew and was excited about me.

None of their food was touched, though they would sometimes pick it up as if to take a bite, only to set it down a few seconds later. My first thought was that they were all anorexic, but they didn't look like that, none of them seemed insanely skinny with ribs sticking out. In fact, all of their bodies seemed absolutely perfect, down to the last detail. I could tell my mouth had dropped open, but I wasn't going to bother to close it.

They all looked completely different, but identical at the same time. Of the three boys, the shortest was black with a bald head, and although it didn't look like it, I knew underneath his jeans and dress shirt he had some muscle. The next was by far the bulkiest, I could tell he worked out in a gym a lot. He was in the middle according to height and had a somewhat Asian look to him. I knew instantly not to piss that guy off. The last was the tallest, and he was much lankier than the others. This one had short black hair, and I knew instantly he was the hottest. It took all my willpower to look away and study the girls. One was short, with long blond hair that was currently in a messy bun behind her head. The other was taller, with long wavy brown hair.

I returned my eyes to the black haired male again, barely realizing that Jimmy had been trying to get my attention for at least two minutes.

"Hey, you retarded?" he asked, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I jumped, unaware that I had been that into staring at the perfect people. "Who are they?" I asked, pointing to the object of my attention.

As Jimmy looked over to see who I had been talking about, though probably already knowing, the black haired boy looked over at the short bully for a second before his black eyes darted to mine.

He looked away almost instantly, though I continued staring. As excited as I was that the gorgeous male had looked at me, I also felt insulted. In his eyes, as briefly as they had looked at me, there had been no sign of curiosity. It was almost as if he had only looked up because someone had called his name.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, a large smile on his face. "That was Carlton Lassiter, the dude who just looked at us. A real asshole if there ever was one. And that black dude is Burton Guster, and the Asian is Lars Ewing. The two girls are Juliet O'Hara, the one with blond hair, and Lindsay Leikin, the brunette. But don't get your hopes up with those two girls, they're already dating. Juliet with Burton, and Lindsay with Lars."

A girl across the table who had been listening in leaned in close, barely holding back in a giggle. "They're all the kids of Police Chief John Fenich and his wife, Detective Karen Fenich."

My eyes widened, looking over at the table. Who knew people were that backward in small towns.

Seeing the look in my eyes, Jimmy let out an exasperated breath. "Don't listen to Sophie, she's just a huge, stupid, gossip. They're all adopted, no relation at all."

I sighed, feeling a huge relief wash over me. That could have been really awkward. "So, that Carlton dude isn't dating anyone?" I asked, hoping they wouldn't read to much into my question.

Jimmy shrugged, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Why would I know? Like I said, that dude's an asshole. Though most of the girls here don't seem to mind." He rolled his eyes, returning to his sandwich.

I turned to Sophie, trying to raise an eyebrow. "What does he mean by that?" I asked while the girl continued to giggle.

"Oh, Jimmy's just jealous because every girl at school is in love with Carlton. I mean, he's the hottest person ever. Just ask Emelina, she's tried stalking him before, or Barb, who's asked him out several times. Or everyone else in this school." Sophie smiled at me before taking a sip out of her juice box.

"Have they always been here? I would have thought I would remember someone like them." I asked, picking up my apple and throwing it gently up in the air and catching it.

Sophie rolled her eyes, but continued to smile at me. "Of course not Shawn, they moved here only two years ago from Alaska. But then again, you haven't been here for 6 years, so I guess you wouldn't know much of what's going on."

I nodded, taking a bite out of my apple, my gaze once again drifting towards the table of gods. For a second time, the black haired boy looked over at me, but this time he actually looked curious. I smiled at him, or as much as I could with a huge bite of apple in my mouth, and waved. The boy, or Carlton, rolled his eyes and looked away, turning to the blond girl, Juliet.

It had turned out Sophie had been talking to me again, but I had zoned out of the conversation for a second time. "-e hasn't dated one person here since he got here 2 years ago. People like Jimmy just think he's stuck up, but then again I wouldn't blame them. At times he does seem like an insensitive a-hole."

I smiled at this, and glanced over at the table yet again. To my amazement, Carlton Lassiter was also smiling, as if he had heard exactly what Sophie had said. It was the kind of smile that would melt anyone's heart, and I knew in an instant that I would do anything to see that smile again.

* * *

**Extended Author's Note:** I know that Shawn isn't really in character during the lunch scene, and neither are Jimmy and Sophie, and I'm sorry about that. And soon Lassie and Shawn will meet for the first time! *throws confetti*

Please review, and maybe Lassie will smile at Shawn again.


	5. First Sight, Part 3

**Author's Note: **Sorry this took a while, school is of the devil. But spring break is here, so I should be able to update at least once this week because I have no life and nothing else to do.  
And can you believe that Psych is over until the summer? I don't know what to look forward to every week.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Psych or Twilight. And **Glorious Plumage** is beyond awesome, she's so amazing she gets a new word to describe her once I create it.

* * *

I ended up staying longer with Jimmy's group than I had originally planned, but I really didn't want to make the little man angry. Finally, after everyone else in the cafeteria had left, Jimmy dismissed turned out a quiet boy named Buzz McNabb had Biology II with me too, so we walked off together. I knew in an instant that I liked Buzz, though I would have to cure him of his shyness.

When we finally arrived at the science classroom, Buzz left me to go off and sit with a girl who I vaguely remembered being called Frannie. The two started talking and messing around with each other, and I knew by the end of the school year they would be together.

After taking my note up to the teacher who's name was Mr. Janousek, he assigned me to the only empty seat left in the room. A seat that happened to be next to Carlton Lassiter. I barely held back a grin as I walked over to the lab table.

The minute Carlton saw that I was going to sit by him, he narrowed his eyes and moving his chair as far away from me as possible. I just shrugged and sat down, scooting my chair a little closer to the boy. "Hey, I'm Shawn Spencer but you already knew that." I smiled, sticking out a hand for him to shake.

Carlton looked down at my hand as if it disgusted him. I quickly retracted my hand, not wanting it bit off or anything like that. "So, you're Carlton Lassiter, aren't you?" I asked. He didn't even so much as grunt. Well, if Lassie (his newly dubbed nickname) didn't want to talk, I guess I would have to do it for him.

"You're probably wondering how I know your name. Well, Lassie, I'm a psychic. Pretty awesome, I know. Girls and boys alike have been known to swoon." I continued

Lassie rolled his eyes and turned his gaze to the teacher, who was talking about cellular anatomy. Ick. I'd already gone over Mitosis and Meiosis in my last school. Clearing my throat, I moved my chair even closer to my table partner. "Wow, a psychic? Really? That's amazing." I said in a deep voice, trying to mimic what I thought the hot boy would sound like.

I grinned, trying to act a little embarrassed, and shrugged my shoulders. "Ya, I know. I've helped the police a bit too, solving cases before, nothing big. Just stopped a few serial rapists and whatnot."

Carlty-town (another nickname that popped into my head) didn't look up from the notes he was writing. "Shawn, you're totally amazing. Were you helping your dad out when you solved those cases?" Using that voice was certainly hurting my throat, but if it got Lassie talking, it would be so worth it.

"Oh, no, not at all. I was in Santa Barbra with my mom when I solved those cases. See, she's a police psychologist, so I hang around the police station a lot. You wouldn't believe how stupid cops can be." The story wasn't completely false, I had helped the police solve a few small crimes, but nothing more than gas station robberies.

I had opened my mouth once again to reply in my Lassie voice when the black haired teenager whipped around and grabbed the front of my shirt. It was probably a good thing that we were sitting in the back and had a bunch of tall people sitting in front of us, or the teacher would have noticed what was going on. Well, good for Lassie, not so much for me.

"Listen Spencer," he started, leaning in close to my ear so that I could feel his warm breath on my ear. I nearly melted, his voice was ten times better than my Lassie voice. "I don't give a damn where you are from or what you do. Don't you dare trivialize police work. And don't give me any of that Psychic crap, I don't believe it. Oh, and one more thing. Do Not Call Me Nicknames."

He released my shirt and went back to his notes as if nothing had happened. But I wasn't as good at being able to forget things. After a few seconds of staring, I smiled to myself as I grabbed my picture of a guy, who I dubbed Lassie, saving me from the evil teddy bears. If Lassie had thought that his little show of aggression would shut me up, he was wrong. If anything, it made me even more interested in him.

-x-

The rest of the class passed uninteresting, though I did notice Carlton clench his hand so hard his knuckles turned white a few times. When the bell finally rang he was the first out of the classroom, much faster than I would have thought humanly possible.

While I packed my things up, Sophie, who apparently was also in this class, walked over to me, smiling. "So, what'd you do to Lassiter that made him so angry? I've never seen him blow up that much at anybody."

I shrugged and grabbed my books, making my way out of the door. "I don't know, all I did was call him a few innocent nicknames and try to initiate a conversation." Sophie's eyes widened at this, and she started giggling. "What? Did I do something wrong? Is there a book of 'Stuff To Not Do Around Lassie'?"

After hearing Lassie's nickname, Sophie burst out laughing, dropping all of her books in the process. After helping her pick them up, the girl smiled brightly, tears of laughter sparkling in her eyes. "You seriously called him Lassie? Your lucky he didn't kill you. Lassiter hates people calling him by his first name or any nickname. But I guess you found that out yourself."

It turned out that Sophie also had PE next, and we talked about Lassie's odd behavior the entire time. She waved a hand when we had to part ways, and I quickly went to the boy's locker room. Thankfully I didn't have to play volleyball, so I just got to sit on the sidelines and continue with my picture. I had decided that a dinosaur named Zippy was going also be on the teddy bear's side. But Lassie and I had an army of Sporks, so it was a pretty even battle.

-x-

When the final bell rang I made my way to the front office, ready to drop my signed sheet of paper off. But as I walked into the warm office, there was someone already talking to the lady behind the desk. I started smiling when I recognized the short black hair. I casually leaned against the nearest wall and crossed my arms, not wanting to interrupt their little exchange. Plus, I had a really good view that I didn't want to give up.

I heard Lassie and the woman arguing in low, hushed voices about something. I heard the words 'Biology' and 'switch', so I guessed that the boy was trying to switch out of his Biology class. But wait, I was in his class. Why would he want to switch out if I was sitting next to him in that class? I cocked my head to the side, extremely puzzled. This Lassie dude sure was a little weird.

Suddenly the door opened and a huge gust of cold air swirled around the office. Lassie's back stiffened, and he turned around slowly, glaring at me. "Hi Lassie!" I said, my smile widening as I waved.

He rolled his eyes and turned back to the lady behind the desk. "Just forget I even came here, I can see that no matter what I do you won't change that stupid mind of yours." With that he stalked off, not glancing in my direction once.

Walking up to the lady I handed her my piece of paper and assured her that my day had been wonderful. Turning back around I all but ran to my car, wanting to get home as soon as possible. Not only because I needed to ask my dad about the Fenich's, but I also needed to bake that nice woman a pineapple upside down cake.

* * *

**Extended Author's Note: **I haven't felt to happy with the past two chapters, but I should probably leave it up to the readers to judge. Ugg... I think I'm channeling a bit of JD when I write Shawn... I've been watching too much Scrubs.

Every time you review, an angle gets their wings. _(Yes, I did just quote 'What a Wonderful Life')_


	6. Open Book, Part 1

**Author's Note**: I've finally updated! Yay!

A special thanks to my beta, Invisalite. None of this would be possible without her!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or Psych. This story is based off of a story written **Glorious Plumage**. You should check it out.

* * *

The next day was a little better, but still pretty much the same.

Emilina followed me around the whole day, starting to say something then going off into her own fantasy. But I finally got used to it after the first 20 minutes of her staring at the wall like it was a movie. Sophie also hung around me a lot, and I didn't mind that one bit. It turned out that a bunch of the people I had met at lunch were in my classes, so I at least had a some people I knew to hang out with.

The one real downer was that Lassie was gone. I had planned on going over to him at lunch or Biology to try and talk and see why he had a huge stick up his ass, but I still had to work out exactly how I was going to start a conversation. Because, I was Shawn Spencer, and I was not going to allow someone to be upset at me for any small reason. Everyone was supposed to love me, not grab me and hiss in my ear. Though that had been pretty hot, so I wasn't going to hold that against him.

While walking into the cafeteria with Jimmy, something that I hadn't been able to avoid, I scanned the room for Lassie. After looking up and down, and even on the ceiling, I was forced to accept the fact that he really wasn't there. Sighing, I let Sophie lead me over to her table, casually glancing over at Lassie's siblings. _Yip, still really hot._

I didn't feel like including myself in the conversations going on at my table, so instead I focused on my lunch, a really boring tuna fish sandwich, _damn you Henry_, and what I exactly I was going to say to Lassie if he did show up for the next class. I was so engrossed in my sandwich I didn't notice Jimmy poking, no, more like jabbing me in the side. Finally realizing that the midget was bruising my flesh, I looked over at him.

"Hey, dimbo, I think the weirdos are looking at you."

And sure enough, they were. Pointing and laughing. Well, the asian dude and the brunette girl were pointing and laughing, the other two seemed to be arguing with them. The pretty blonde and the black one turned to me, as if trying to prove some kind of point, and I smiled and waved at them. The girl smiled and waved back, while the boy rolled his eyes and turned back. Well, that had been weird.

Shrugging, I turned back to the conversation, still not paying it much attention.

Again, after lunch, I walked with Buzz. He was much more animated and lively, and I knew for a fact that I liked this guy. Apparently he and his girlfriend, Francine, were going to go dancing or something along those lines. I sorta zoned out after a few minutes, but Buzz didn't seem to notice. Or if he did, he didn't mind.

Lassie had not been present in Biology, something that was really starting to irritate me. How was I supposed to blind him with my charms if he wasn't around to be blinded? Stupid people and their avoiding me. Because I was pretty sure that the olderish boy had been avoiding me, why else wouldn't he have turned up for class?

-x-

The rest of the day passed without incident, though I had managed to hit Jimmy over the head with a volleyball in Gym. And in no time I was walking to my truck, casually waving and giving people I passed by high-fives.

I wasn't looking forward to going home to Henry. I had quickly learned that he either grilled fish or steak, so I was going to be getting a lot of meat in my diet. Maybe if I went to the store to pick up some other groceries he would get some variety in his menu plan. Shaking my head, I started my truck. It'd would take too much energy to try and find the store, get out, and then push a cart around trying to find things I would want to eat. And I also didn't have any money on me.

Backing out of my spot, I glanced around the parking lot, my eyes falling on Carlton's siblings. Of course, they were standing around the shiny red Crown Vic. Sure It wasn't exactly a sports car or anything like that, but it was the nicest vehicle here. Shrugging, I turned back to the road and headed out of the parking lot.

The minute I arrived home, I dropped my backpack in the middle of the hallway and scrambled up the stairs. Mom was bound to have tried to contact me, and she was probably getting very worried with me not responding. And a worried Madeline Spencer wasn't good at all.

After turning on my computer, I groaned. Mom had already sent me about a dozen emails. Didn't she know me at all? I wasn't one to check my email 10 thousand times a day.

Clicking on the first one, I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I really wished that woman would treat me as a 17 year old, not a child.

_Goose,  
_

_How are you doing? Please contact me the minute you get home. I want to know everything about your flight._

_How is Henry doing? I hope he didn't yell too loud at you. But you do need to cut him some slack, he hasn't seen you for six years._

_I love you so much._

_Mom  
_

Of course Mom would side with Henry about everything. Even if they weren't still together, she kept making excuses for him. Running a hand through my hair I clicked on the following emails, laughing as they became more and more worried.

Figuring it would be best to answer before she got any ideas, I quickly clicked the reply button and started typing away.

_Hey Mom._

_The plane ride was okay. I had to sit by a really fat old man though. And he could have used a shower. Or several showers.  
_

_Henry's doing fine, though I don't know why you have to ask about him. It's not like you're still married or anything. And no, I won't give him any slack. Not after what he did._

_I miss you too. School is going fine, I've already met a druggie and a few nice friends. Oh, and an angry midget._

_Shawn_

That was going to be as good as it got. I wasn't really in any mood to elaborate about everything that had happened. I'd do that after dinner.

After a few minutes of staring blankly at the laptop screen, I heard Henry enter and trip over my backpack. Actually, I heard him cursing loudly, but that still counted. Slowly walking down the steps, I tried not to laugh at the fact that a simple backpack could bring down the head detective of the Sporfs Police Department.

"That you Shawn?" he asked from the ground as I neared the end of the stairs.

Sighing, I reached out a hand to help him up. "No, I'm a mass murderer here to kill you. I already murdered your son and left him in the bathtub for the authorities to find."

Henry rolled his eyes and pulled himself up with my help. "You know Shawn, one of these days you're going to get tired of acting like an ass."

"And I bet you can't wait for that day." My eyes narrowed as I roughly pulled my hand away from my father. We couldn't go an hour without an argument, could we?

A uncomfortable silence followed the few seconds after our small disagreement, but I wasn't about to break it.

Finally, Henry sighed and ran a hand over his bald head. "So, our steaks should be done soon. I'll call you back when dinner is ready."

Nodding, I walked back up to my room and collapsed on my bed, wondering for the umpteenth time why I had decided to come live with the one person I didn't get along with. Well, him and Carlton Lassiter. Maybe dad would know something about him and his odd family.

I hated having to resort to asking my dad for anything, even when I was a little kid. This was going to be an uncomfortable dinner. I knew that much.

About 45 minutes later, Henry yelled up the stairs that dinner was ready. Slowly pushing myself off my bed, I dragged my feet down the stairs, not enjoying the prospect of eating fish. At least I hadn't had to skin them this time. I still had nightmares of rabid fish jumping out of the water and skinning me, all the while asking me how I liked it.

Once we were seated down and Henry had taken a huge bite of his fish, I picked up my fork and started to play with it.

"What do you know about Chief Fenich and his family? Kids were talking about them at school."

I had been expecting a lot of things from my father, but not the feeling of pure hatred and contempt that flowed from him. "People should just shut up and mind their own damn business. I happen to know the Chief and his wife very well. She's actually my partner. And those kids, they're perhaps the most well behaved people I've ever met. Better than some people I know," he gave me a pointed look. "I heard that Chief Fenich had been offered other places, like San Francisco and Seattle, but he chose here. We are beyond lucky to have him here. And Detective Karen Fenich is one damn good detective too."

I couldn't believe that Henry would feel that that much about that family of... freaks? No, not freaks. They were just different.

"What do you know about their son, Carlton Lassiter?" I asked, hoping that Henry wouldn't think to deeply as to why I wanted to know as much about this family as I could. I didn't even know.

Shrugging, he took a gulp of water before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Good kid, wants to be a a cop someday too. And I think that he's on the wrestling team, pretty damn good at it too. Why do you want to know about him in particular?"

"No reason." I replied, taking a large bite of my dinner so I wouldn't have to reply.

But Henry's eyes stayed on me for the rest of the meal.

-x-

After we had finished, I left my dad to clear the table and put the leftovers away. I wasn't about to be sucked into doing boring chores. I had a lot of thinking to do.

Collapsing on my bed for the second time that day, I ran a hand through my hair.

So, that had been why Lassie had gotten so mad at me for making fun of police officers. Practically his whole family were cops, and he even aspired to join the men in blue. And now that I thought about it, the black haired, tall, lanky boy sorta had a wrestler's body. Though, like everyone else, he probably didn't look good in a tight spandex suit thingy and the matching helmet. Well, the spandex possibly would be okay. I'd just have to see him in it.

* * *

**Extended Author's Note**: I hope you enjoyed reading this.

Every time a review is posted, an angel gets their wings.


	7. Open Book, Part 2

**Author's Note:** Sorry this took a while. Because my grades were not as amazing as they should have been, my time on the computer has been reduced quite a lot. So until July, my updates may not be as abundant as I would like.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Psych or any of it's characters.

* * *

The rest of the week passed by without any problems. Carlton Lassiter still didn't show up, and his absences really started to annoy me. But there wasn't anything I could do, besides confront his siblings, and I still had yet to think of the right way to say 'Hey, I'm physically attracted to your brother, but he seems to hate me. Where has he been the past week, because I really want to start seducing him'.

The weekend went by much the same way, and I started to get bored with Sporfs. Wasn't anything interesting going to happen? I had half a mind to grab my truck and run away to Canada or Kansas, but something kept me in my room. Maybe it was the fact that I wanted to show Henry that I could do something without giving up, or maybe it was because I needed to see Lassie again and tell him to stop being upset and angry and hot and sexy. Well, he didn't have to stop being hot and sexy, I was open to negotiation.

-x-

On Monday people who I didn't know continued to wave and smile at me, but I didn't mind. I wasn't afraid to admit I was an attention hog.

Sliding into my seat as the bell rang, I sighed. Mr. Mason, in all his sweater vest glory, was going to give us a pop quiz. I always knew when teachers were going to spring a surprise test on their students; the small smile was a dead giveaway. And not to mention the glancing down at a stack of papers more than being normal permitted. And not to mention the abnormal amount of glancing down at a stack of papers.

At least I had already read that book once back in third grade, so the test was going to be easy for me.

After finishing in about 3 minutes, I continued my doodle of me being saved from savage teddy bears by a tall stranger in aviator glasses, who I dubbed Lassie McFluffylassiepants. A very heroic name if I did say so myself.

The minute I stepped outside after class, a wonderful sight greeted me. Little white clumps of what looked like cotton were falling from the sky. Reaching down an ungloved hand into the white powder, I grabbed a wet glob and chucked it at the nearest person, who happened to be Buzz. At least the boy was good-natured and shrugged it off, or I probably would have been pummeled into the ground.

Who'd have thought snow would be so fun... and wet? Having lived in sunny Santa Barbara all my life, I was not very accustomed to anything colder than 40 degrees.

Running up beside me, Jimmy also grabbed a fistful of snow and tried to the best of his abilities to pack it into a snowball.

"So, idiot, some friends and I are planning on having a huge snowball battle after school. You in? Or are you too chicken?"

I, obviously, wasn't the type of guy to be pressured into anything by being called chicken, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to repeatedly hit Jimmy in the face. So, I quickly accepted the offer and all but ran to my next class. For some odd reason, most of the snowballs were being thrown in my direction.

-x-

While waiting in line for lunch, my gaze drifted first to the ceiling, and then to the table with all of Chief Fenich's kids. I still couldn't rule out Lassie hiding from me on the ceiling. A wide grin spread over my face as my astute detective skills pointed out 5 people instead of 4.

Today was going to be a great day.

"Freako, you still in there? You're staring off at the Fenich's table again."

Jimmy sidled up beside me and grabbed some random kid's soda and bag of chips.

Obviously not one of the midget's best insults. "Yip. Freako is still in here," I replied, not bothering to try and come up with an insanely clever retort. My mind was elsewhere. 

Sliding into a seat next to Barb and Sophie, my gaze lingered on Lassie's before I looked down to unpack my lunch.

Feeling something poking me in the side, I looked up to see Barb's face inches from mine, her short spiky blond hair way too close for comfort.

"Shawn, Lassiteris staring at you."

Glancing up from my very boring peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I saw that the very intimidating girl was right. Lassie-face had been staring at me, but the moment I looked up his eyes darted elsewhere. Letting a small, triumphant smile grace my lips, I bit into my sandwich.

"He's probably just jealous of my hair."

-x-

The minute I stepped outside after lunch, everything changed. Instead of gentle little flakes of snow, the weather gods decided it would be rather amusing to mess with me and let buckets of water pour down on my head.

Sighing, I pulled my jacket over my precious hair and ran to the biology classroom. Nearly falling into the mud three times, I somehow managed to make it to the small room and hang up my jacket before the teacher started class.

At the moment, my lab table was empty, but I was sure that Lassie would soon arrive. He seemed way too hung up on rules (not that I knew him very well) to ever skip a class. Mr. Janousek was passing stethoscopes, wait, no, those things were called telescopes, out to every table, and the minute I sat down I pulled mine towards me.

"Hey, leave those alone if you don't want to pay the school a large sum of money," I heard a voice from behind me snap, and I quickly looked around, surprised to see my table mate sitting down next to me. How had I not notice him enter the room?

My very astute observation skills noticed that his chair was still pushed as far away from me as possible, but that wasn't exactly important. Well, it was, but not when there were many more... interesting things right in front of me. Like how Lassie's short black hair, which practically screamed for me to run my hands through it, was peppered with small snowflakes that weren't melting. How odd.

As I had never been very good at resisting hair that begged me to mess it up, I instinctively reached up and brushed a few of the flakes out of the boy's hair. I felt Lassie tense up under my hand, but I shrugged his discomfort off and continued to run my hands through his hair. Although it was surprisingly soft, what puzzled me was how cold both the black hair and its owner's head were. It was almost as if he had stuck his head in a pile of snow before coming inside.

"Do you mind?" Lassiter grunted, grabbing my hand and forcefully pulling it off of his head.

Just like his head, Carlton's hands were extremely cold. Could someone really have that bad of blood circulation?

Smiling, I ripped my arm away from his surprisingly strong grip.

"You had a wicked case of dandruff going on there. Lassie, you should know that most people do not find little bits of dead skin very attractive. I was just trying to help a fellow son of a police officer out."

Rolling his eyes, the other boy turned his attention to the teacher. Yip, I had been right. Lassie was a total stickler for the rules.

Apparently, class had started while I had been messing with my partner's hair. And we were going to be doing something about cell division, or whatever it was called when cells split and created more cells. Minose or something like that.

After the teacher let us loose, Lassie turned to me.

"Since you were so eager to manhandle the microscope, why don't you go first?" he growled, but I did detect a small hint of amusement in his voice.

"I don't know what your definition of manhandling is, but I assure you, the telescope and I were just having a very pleasant conversation about the price of Norwegian pineapples. Purely platonic. But I certainly wouldn't mind if you showed me what you define as manhandling."

I continued to smile at the other boy, who looked very confused, clearly unsure which part of my response he should reply to.

Still smiling, I grabbed the telescopeand took a quick glance at it before loudly exclaiming the right answer.

"Telophrase."

Raising an eyebrow, Lassie grabbed the small device and took an even quicker glance at it.

"Spencer, there is no such thing as telophrase. You either mean telophase or prophase. And it is clearly prophase." he replied after running a hand over his face.

"I've heard it both ways," I replied, reaching for the next slide and positioning it correctly. "And I've already had this lesson back in Santa Barbara. You'd think they would think enough to at least get different slides, or put them in a different order."

The rest of the slides were completed in much the same way. I would take a glance at them, make a random but usually correct guess, and Lassie would grumble to himself while rechecking my work.

While my tablemate was busy writing down our findings, I let my eyes wander over Lassiter. There was something different about him, even besides the looks. He was incredibly attractive, but so were a lot of other people. Something was just... different. It was almost as if Lassie was impossible and shouldn't exist, but there he was, sitting right in front of me.

Making a small noise in the back of my throat, I turned back to my work. But I did catch Lassie raising his very sexy Irish eyebrow at me. Damn those Irelandians, why did they have to be so hot?

"Something bothering you Spencer?" he asked, turning his body in my general direction.

"Only admiring your very attractive body." I replied, sending him a very large smile.

Snorting, Lassie pinched the bride of his nose.

Sometimes it was better to just tell the truth, even if no one believed it. The future cop obviously didn't, and I was okay with that. For now.

Opening his eyes again, Carlton studied my face for a few seconds before opening his mouth again. It was almost as if something about me was puzzling the other boy. But what about me would be confusing? I was a pretty open person.

"So, you like it here in Sporfs so far?"

* * *

**Extended Author's Note:** Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writting it!

Every time a review is posted, an angle receives his or her wings. (YAY FOR CORRECT GRAMMAR!)


	8. Open Book, Part 3

**Author's Note:** I'm really sorry this is short and that it took a while. I've had it written for several weeks, but I just haven't gotten around to posting. D: But luckily, the next chapter is almost much done, so you'll get it soon!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the plot of Twilight, or anything relating to Psych. Though I wish I did. Oh, so much.

**Glorious Plumage** and **Invisalite** are pretty awesome. Always remember that.

_

* * *

"Do you like it here in Sporfs so far?"_

His question caught me off guard. I had been expecting to have to initiate all conversation, but it looked like Lassie would finally start pulling his own weight.

"From my father's description I would have expected sunshine, rainbows, unicorns, and little angry men with pots of gold, but sadly I have yet to see a shamrock."

A puzzled look passed over Lassiter's face.

"You just described Ireland," he replied, finally setting his pencil down to take a good look at me.

"Bet you'd know all about that. I wouldn't be surprised if you grew pointy ears and started doing some sort of Irish step dancing," I said, also taking a good look at my partner, trying (and failing) to match his inquisitive gaze.

We stared each other down for a few more seconds before something in my mind clicked. How could I have not noticed it sooner? I was, after all, the Madonna of observation.

I would need to think of a very long and complicated plan to flush out the answer from Lassie. Something so brilliant that he would have no idea what had happened. Something so amazing that... Oh, what the hell.

"You changed your eye color. They used to be black, now they're a blue color. They now have an almost 'come hither' look instead of a 'I'll kill you and chop your body into little teeny tiny bits if you take one more step closer' look," I blurted out.

That sure had taken the other boy by surprise. Suddenly sitting up higher, he ripped his gaze from mine. Something was going on here.

"No I didn't. I have no idea what you're talking about."

After hearing Lassiter's response, a huge grin spread across my face.

"You really are a terrible liar Lassitude. Do you really expect me to believe something didn't happen when you respond and act like that?" I asked, trying to contain my laughter.

Nodding curtly, he bent over his paper, still refusing to look at me.

Finally, after waiting for an agonizingly long 15 seconds, Lassie looked back at me.

He stayed silent, as if studying my face for something. It would seem that he would not be answering my question.

Well, I sure did not like being ignored. Especially by someone like Lassiter.

Just as I had opened my mouth to say something, Mr. Janousek walked over to our table.

"There sure is a lot of chatting going on here. I hope for your sakes that all of your work is done," he said, looking from my face to Lassie's.

Again, I was about to open my mouth to answer the man with a very long, ingenious, but crazy, story that involved Star Trek, a glass of tomato juice, and a very large pumpkin as to why we had not finished our work, when Lassiter beat me to it.

"Yes sir, Mr. Spencer and I have finished all of our work." he responded politely.

Nodding, Mr. Janousek turned away to help other, less fortunate students. Obviously the balding teacher trusted Lassie enough to tell the truth.

"Lassie, why'd you have to go and do that? I had a whole story that went back twenty years planned out," I whined, scooting my chair a little closer to my table mate.

"Because Spencer," he leaned forward ever so slightly, "All of our work is done. Amazing what one can do when they pay no attention."

Trying my hardest not to also lean forward and run my hands through the still miraculously salt and peppered hair, I laughed.

"Don't think that because you have immaculate features, I will forget about your eyes changing color. I have the memory of an old hippopotamus."

Rolling his eyes, Lassie returned to his normal position.

"Spencer, I think you mean old elephant."

"I've heard it both ways," I muttered, trying not to feel slightly upset because the older boy had leaned back away from me.

Although we stayed silent for the remainder of the class period, I couldn't help but notice that Lassiter's pale hands were clenched into tight fists on his chair.

**-x-**

After class, Lassie was the first out the room. I couldn't help but stare after him, mouth slightly open. Why wasn't that guy on the track team? If, of course, Sporfs High had a track team.

"You're going to catch flies with your mouth open like that."

My head jerked up to find Sophie standing over me. Had I really been staring after Lassiter for that long?

Laughing, the girl grabbed my arm and started to pull me towards the gym.

"So, Lassiter sure seemed friendly today. I wonder what was wrong with him last time. Like I think I told you earlier, he generally doesn't act that horrible. Maybe he really is just jealous of your hair. It is rather amazing."

Shrugging, I followed her out of the room. For once, I wasn't in the mood to talk about how other people acted. Actually, I was never in the mood because I, Shawn Spencer, was not a hormonal teenage girl that needed to boost her confidence by putting other people down.

Gym class passed in a blur. The only moment that stuck out in my mind was when I accidentally hit Sophie square in the nose with a football. Or... maybe not so accidentally.

**-x-**

The rain had, thankfully, turned into a gentle mist by the time I made it outside. Dejectedly, I slowly walked over to The Truckinator. Stupid weather ruining my plans.

Quickly hopping into the cab to escape the icky mist, I cranked the heater on high. It was times like these that made me really miss California weather.

After pulling out of my spot, I glanced around the parking lot, my gaze falling on Lassie.

I almost cranked the window to yell something at him, but before I could, a stupid, rusty, old car decided to endanger my life, and pulled out in front of me.

"Damn," I muttered, slamming hard on my brakes.

From the corner of my vision I could have sworn I saw Lassiter smiling that smile that made my heart flip.

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**Extended Author's Note:** Thanks for reading!

Every time someone posts a review, an angel receives a bucket of hot wings. (Oh iCarly, how I love thee)


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Really, I don't. Hard to believe, right?

**Author's Note: **Oh frick. I really let this die, didn't I? I'm really sorry, and I don't have an excuse, except for laziness, and that excuse sucks. I'm really sorry, but I won't promise that I'll never do it again, because I can't exactly make promises at this point.  
BUT THIS STORY WILL BE FINISHED! Along with Losing Lassie (at some point) and my other story that I love that I forgot the name of. Frick.

* * *

The minute I woke up, I knew something was different. It may have been that I had actually had a very nice sleep without rain interrupting my dreams, or it could have been the extra amount of sunlight filtering in through my window. Either one was a fair assumption.

Jumping out of my bed, I groaned. Dressed in only a pair of boxers and a thin t-shirt, my body was unprepared for the cold air that assaulted me. Grabbing my blanket off my bed and throwing it around my shoulders, I forced my feet to shuffle over the cold ground to the window.

I gasped at the sight before me.

Because of the rain yesterday, all the snow had melted into water. Water that was now frozen solid. Driving to school was going to be very fun, even more so since I had no experience controlling a car in anything other than hot and/or dry weather.

**-x-**

Henry had already left by the time I made it downstairs, something that didn't upset me one bit. Mornings were always our worst times together. Once we even had a heated argument over how useful Cheerios really were in lowering one's cholesterol.

Grabbing a random granola bar and stuffing it in my mouth, I couldn't help but wonder why I was so anxious to arrive at school early. Back in Santa Barbara I had never bothered with trying to be on time. I had generally been the complete opposite.

The only reason I could think of for my recent change in behavior was Carlton Lassiter. Hopefully by the end of the year he wouldn't have turned me into that geek who would cry at a B. But I was probably blowing this all out of proportion. I could never be a geek with hair like mine.

After washing down the granola bar with a drink from the milk carton, I shook my head. No, I wasn't going to let anyone turn me into someone who got to school on time. I wasn't some 14-year-old girl who would do anything to impress a boy. I was a manly man.

Still mentally complaining about Lassiter, I carefully made my way down the slick driveway. Thankfully Mom had forced me to pack a very thick, bulky, very hard to move in winter coat for occasions such as this, or I would have had to wear my leather jacket again. And that would not have been a comfortable drive to school.

After I was safely buckled into my seat, I let a huge sigh of relief escape my lips. I had made it this far; hopefully I wouldn't be killed by some skidding van.

Trying to not think about anything but the road ahead of me, I slowly drove to school. Once again, I wondered why anyone would ever want to live in a place like this. Sure, ice and snow were beautiful and amazing in a picture or greeting card, but they were a huge pain in the ass to drive in.

Surprisingly, I arrived at the school with no harm to my truck, not even a scratch. On closer inspection once I was out of the cab, I understood why.

Someone, most likely Henry, had wrapped chains around my tires. How had I not noticed it before? There had to be something in the Sporfs air that was messing with my mental capabilities.

Burying the realization that my father actually cared about me deep down in the back of my mind, I straightened back up to head inside for class.

Then, without warning, a high-pitched screech met my ears.

"Oh, damn**,**" I muttered. I knew exactly what was going to happen; I'd seen enough videos of car crashes before.

Muttering under my breath about stupid drivers (like me) who didn't pay attention to where they were driving and stupid people (also like me) who walked around in the middle of a parking lot, I turned around, expecting to see a van about to roll over on its side and crush some poor, innocent freshman. But no. The green van was heading straight for me.

"Oh, fucking damn**,**" I yelled, my eyes going wide. I was going to die in the stinking, small town school parking lot. What a sad, anticlimactic way to end my life.

Shutting my eyes tightly and balling my hands into fists, I waited for the crash to come. The pain. But it didn't.

Instead, I felt something collide with me from the side. The wrong side. Hadn't the van been heading for my front? Dazed and confused, it took me a few minutes to realize that I was laying on the ground, and something very heavy was effectively holding me down.

Cracking one eye open, and then the other, I caught a glimpse of the old rusty Ford I had parked next to. But that was the only thing I was able to see.

Hearing the same screech as before, I moved my head around to look for the source of the noise. Or, moved my head as much as I could with the heavy something on top of me.

The van was now even closer. I had almost squeezed my eyes shut again when I saw two white arms reach out in front of me. I knew those arms. But what the hell were those arms doing hovering over me? I reached a finger up to poke said arm, for purely scientifical reasons, when I heard a low growl. Maybe poking the disembodied arms would not be the wisest thing to do.

The vehicle stopped inches from my face, though my legs were not as lucky, since as how they were now stuck under the green death trap. Though luckily in one piece.

With a mumbled oath, the arms went to work, one lifting the van up (wait, what?), the other clumsily dragging my legs out from under it. After freeing me from the wreckage, I felt them snake around my body, pulling me into a very tight embrace. It was actually very pleasant, even if I was sitting on cold pavement, unable to move an inch.

Finally, looking up at my rescuer's face, I almost wrapped my around arms around Lassie in response to all that had happened. Almost. I knew that if I let myself hug him, I probably would never let go. And he didn't seem like the type who would love hugs.

"Spencer, are you okay?" I heard him ask, his face inches from mine.

Nodding, my gaze flicked from his very blue eyes to his lips, lined with worry. Worry for me.

Of course, I, being Shawn Spencer, had to ruin the moment.

"Lassie, I didn't know you were a cuddler. I generally leave the cuddling for the fifth date, but maybe I could make an exception for you. You do have very nice arms."

Blinking, Lassiter pulled his face back a bit; obviously confused by the fact I was making jokes already.

He had opened his mouth to respond when the outside world finally caught up with us. Darn those moment crashers, even if I already had ruined it.

There was some screaming, and a little crying, but most of the people who had seen the accident were shouting out ideas that they believed would help the most, but in fact, were creating more of a problem.

"Well, I better tell you this before your fan club comes over." Lassie said, leaning back in to whisper in my ear, much like our first meeting. "You, Shawn Spencer, are one insufferable idiot. Make sure to keep yourself away from moving vehicles from now on, I won't always be able to save you."

Shaking my head, I laughed, the classic 'Shawn Spencer just went through something extremely dangerous and has no idea what to do' move.

"As if I would ever need your help again. I'm psychic, remember? And how did the hell did you get over here so fast? You were on the other side of the parking lot."

It was the other boy's turn to scoff. "Trust me, you'll need it. I can tell."

The fact Lassiter had not answered my second question did not escape my notice. But right now was not the right time to argue with anyone, especially when the other arguer still had his wonderful, glorious arms wrapped around me.

Finally, the crowd made its way over to us.

"Get Barb out of the van!"

"Someone call the cops!"

If people were actually getting so worked up about a small crash, Sporfs was even more pathetic than I had thought.

Struggling to get up and voice my opinion, I tried not to listen to the part of my brain that wanted to stay wrapped up in Lassie's cold embrace. Dammit, I was not someone to get this worked up about one person, the air here in this town really was messing with my head.

"Stop moving, you could be injured." the black haired male ordered, his mouth still inches from my ear.

To anyone else, that command would have made their legs turn to jelly, but I was stronger than that.

Hopefully.

Still continuing to struggle, my limbs flailing around, I finally noticed a huge, oddly shaped dent in the side of Barb's van.

A dent that looked like it had been created by a pair of very strong, very familiar hands.

But... but that couldn't be right. No one could be strong enough to stop a car, it was impossible. There had to be some kind of explanation, and I would not accept Lassie being a body builder as one.

Though he probably would be one of the few people who could pull a gross amount of muscle off. Then again, maybe not. No one, no matter how hot, could ever make body building look attractive.

It took me a while to realize I had been pried from my savior's grip, reluctantly I might add, instead to be strapped to a gurney, like a mental patient.

"Hey! Why isn't Lassiter strapped to one of these things too? He took most of the damage." In all the chaos, my opinion fell on deaf ears.

From somewhere to my left, I heard Lassie's low voice speak to someone I assumed was a medic. "I believe Spencer here has suffered some brain damage, or, if that isn't the case, then he at least has a concussion. Better have a doctor check him out."

I was about to protest further at the injustice of the whole situation when my world started to fade to black.

"Damn," I thought darkly, "Lassie'll get shotgun."

* * *

**Extended Author's Note: **Hope you liked it!

Every time a review is posted, I am that much closer to updating this story.


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